"Treating Rest Like A Real Commitment"

Rest has always been the first thing I negotiate away. Not work, not obligations, not anyone else’s needs; just the time I set aside for myself. I don’t even think about it when I give it up. It’s become automatic, like a reflex I never questioned.

Last Thursday was supposed to be quiet. I’d blocked off the evening on my calendar. I had no plans, no work, just a few hours to exist without doing. It felt luxurious in theory, like something I’d earned.

Then a work request came in. It wasn’t urgent, or even necessary, just a quick call, they said, and before I even considered what I was giving up, I replied yes.

Halfway through the call, I felt that familiar sting: I’d broken a promise to myself without hesitation.

If someone else had booked time with me, I’d protect it without thinking, but when the plan is rest? Suddenly it becomes flexible and optional. I would never cancel on someone else the way I cancel on myself.

Somewhere along the way, I absorbed the idea that rest has to be earned. That productivity comes first, and stillness is allowed only after everything else is finished. Except everything is never finished. There’s always another email, another message, another reason to push rest “just a little farther.”

My body has been trying to get my attention for years. I’m constantly fatigued, tense shoulders, a mind that won’t stop even when I lie down, but exhaustion is easy to ignore when your self-worth is tied to output.

Last month I got sick and couldn’t push through it. Three full days of rest, forced by a cold, and nothing collapsed. The world stayed upright without me holding it in place. The only thing that cracked was the illusion that I have to be available all the time.

So here’s what I’m practicing: when I schedule rest, it stays. If someone asks if I’m free, I say, “I’m already booked.” I am. With myself.

It still feels strange to treat rest as non-negotiable, but the alternative is a life built on depletion. Rest isn’t indulgent; it’s not a reward. It’s part of staying alive in a way that feels like living.

Protect your rest like you protect everything else that matters.

You’re allowed to give yourself what you give everyone else: a commitment you keep.

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