What I’m Unlearning

What I'm Unlearning: That I Need More Stuff

My apartment used to be a museum of things I thought would make me happy.

• The expensive skincare routine that would finally give me perfect skin. 

• The kitchen gadgets that would convince me to cook at home more often.

• The clothes that would make me feel confident. 

I had convinced myself that the right purchase was always just around the corner.

I had a rude awakening when I moved last year and spent three days packing boxes of things I hadn't touched in months. Workout equipment still in its packaging, kitchen tools I'd used once, duplicates of items I'd forgotten I owned. As I labeled box after box, I realized I wasn't just moving my belongings - I was moving my disappointments.

Every purchase had been a small promise to myself: this will make me more organized, more creative, more put-together.

But the high never lasted, and I definitely wasn’t more organized or put-together.

• The new planner didn't make me more productive. 

• The expensive coffee maker didn't make me a morning person. 

• The organizing system didn't fix my deeper relationship with clutter.

I started to see that shopping was my go-to when my emotions felt too hard to deal with. 

• Stressed about a deadline? Browse online stores. 

• Feeling inadequate? Buy something that promised to upgrade my life. 

• Bored on a Sunday? Scroll through sales. 

I was trying to buy my way to a better version of myself, one shopping cart at a time.

It wasn't hard to admit that I had too much stuff - but it was difficult facing what I'd been trying to fill with all of it. I knew what to do with sadness and frustration, but not emotions like boredom and feeling like I was never going to be enough.

But ‘enough’ is a feeling, not a thing. It's the satisfaction of appreciating what I already have. It's cooking something yummy with ingredients I actually have instead of buying specialty items for elaborate recipes I'll never make. Wearing clothes I feel great in, instead of looking for the ‘perfect’ shirt.

The space I've created by buying less isn't empty - it's full of possibilities. Money I used to spend on things I thought I needed now goes toward experiences that fill my cup. The hours I spent scrolling purchases are spent reading books I already own and catching up with friends.

Of course l feel the pull sometimes. The ad for a gadget that will solve my procrastination. The flash sale that tweaks my FOMO. But I'm learning to pause and ask: what am I really trying to buy? What feeling am I hoping this thing will give me?

The answer is usually something that can't be purchased - peace, confidence, connection, purpose. And those things, I'm discovering, were inside me all along.

If you need some help getting started, we recommend checking this book out:

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